You told me to look at driver 8 reply so I do what he says its the Couatl.exe
It didn't said that. He said in that thread OP case it was "probably" Couatl.exe, which of course it's wrong, since that thread OP clearly reported an error in bglmanx.dll. However, regardless of this, his solution was correct.
and now your telling me it is not that
Precisely for the reason you wouldn't be mislead looking for Coautl.exe, which cannot possibly end up *there*.
I save read thought the forums and tried several other things I just can't get it to work.
That was just ONE of the possible solution. If you are sure there are no references in bglmanx.dll in all the registry keys I told you to check in addition to the one in that linked thread, then it's not that reason.
The issue is, that message from FSX is basically bogus and it's a generic message which FSX prints when it can't load a .DLL for ANY reason. The thread named "Addon Manager not showing up in P3Dv4 **SOLVED**" thread lists all the known solutions for any problems in loading the modules, like antivirus, missing libraries, etc.:
http://www.fsdreamteam.com/forum/index.php/topic,17484.msg122656.html#msg122656Even if the title says P3D4, the solutions are valid for FSX as well.